Is Your Unreasonable Boss Crushing Your Confidence?

Are you feeling discouraged by your boss' unrealistic expectations?

I knew a lawyer who didn’t trust redlines. He made his associates do manual comparisons (yes, manually, with their eyes).

Another lawyer insisted that the team check the entire suite of documents for double spaces and replace them with single spaces over the weekend, as a priority.

Are you getting PTSD from reading this?

As lawyers are trained to anticipate potential challenges, individuals who are highly attentive and detail-oriented succeed in the industry. This heightened awareness can sometimes manifest as overcautiousness and even anxiety.

Additionally, because the legal profession historically charged based on billable hours, bosses who worked their teams hard and into the early hours of the morning were rewarded with higher fees and seen as successful leaders.

You may have a boss who focuses on what is missing and what could be better instead of acknowledging the hard work done. With bosses like these, a “well done” or “thank you” is hard to come by, as they tend to criticise and demand constant improvement instead.

Unfortunately, team members who work under these bosses often hold themselves to unfairly high standards and end up suffering from confidence issues, burnout, low morale and poor health.

How to make the most of this and build your confidence:

1. Reframe the situation more positively. Having a boss with unreasonably high expectations has its benefits. Your boss is likely to be technically strong and deliver excellent client care, and there will be many things you can learn from them. Working with someone teaches you both what to do and what not to do. These experiences will shape your own path as a leader.

   
   

2. Do not take it personally. Filter the criticisms and take from them what you agree with and want to learn from. Remember that striving for absolute perfection is an unrealistic goal, and this should not translate into feelings of worthlessness and rejection.

   
   

3. Remember - this does not make you a bad lawyer. As the legal profession shifts towards fee caps and fixed fees, unreasonable demands become impractical for firm, often leading to write-offs or frustrated clients.

   
   

4. Communicate point 3 to your boss (tactfully!). Your boss may not realise they are being unreasonable - they might just be enthusiastic about producing perfect work. Consider gently reminding your boss that stylistic changes do not affect the substance of the document but can result in significant fee write-offs or divert attention from more important tasks. This might remind them of the realities of running a profitable legal practice.